Greetings from the treacherous frozen north.
In the past, I’ve struggled with what to write about in these newsletters. I find that the books I read aren’t always fiction and don’t necessarily review well here. I’ve decided to write about something a little different going forward. I have four main focuses in life, my family, my work, my writing, and my grappling.
You may think that writing is my work, and it is, but right now it’s more a work of passion and doesn’t pay the bills. To do that, I’m fortunate enough to work in computer animation for one of the world’s most successful gaming companies.
My average day tends to look something like this, I wake up at 5:30 AM, make coffee, and write for an hour or so. With my wife’s help, I spend the next couple of hours getting my children and myself ready for the day. Once I drop the kids off at school, my workday starts.
At work, I currently fill a director role, so I spend a great deal of time working to improve and maintain relationships with the people around me. I’m always looking ahead and focusing on how I can better improve myself, my co-worker’s working conditions, and how we can better connect and communicate.
The looking ahead part is challenging for me because I’m also focused on being mindful and present to help manage stress and anxiety. At times looking forward takes me out of that practice. I recently read two books that helped me a great deal with managing relationships and being more present. The Four Agreements and The Power of Now. Both books are somewhat spiritual, which I’m not a big fan of, but they do have nuts and bolts tools and strategies that help me to organize and clear out my anxious and stressful thoughts.
Twice a week, my wife makes time for me to go train with some of the best grapplers in the city. I learned through reading The Power of Now that the reason I probably enjoy combat sports so much is that it forces people to be present and in the moment. I often find myself after training feeling very balanced and at peace. It’s a sort of moving meditation. It took me forever to realize that fact, but obviously, my subconscious picked up on the benefits immediately. The first time I walked into a boxing gym in the late 90s I was hooked.
I remember walking into the gym with frustrating relationship problems. I was dating a person I shouldn’t have been and was feeling frustrated. I wanted to correct an impossible situation but couldn’t figure out how. I boxed for an hour or so, and when I left, I had the vague feeling that there was something troubling me. Then I remembered my relationship issue, only, It wasn’t a problem anymore. The hard training had given me a fresh perspective. I knew what I had to do, cut my losses, end things and move on. It felt like a superpower to be able to wash away that sort of negative feeling. I continued to box for several years after that and never looked back.
Over time I changed from training boxing to grappling because I also love wrestling and jiu-jitsu and because of head trauma concerns. I need all the brains I can get. In the past, I focussed my grappling game on being strong from the bottom, when someone is on top of me, trying to crush me. I’ve practiced submission techniques, (chokes and limb locks,) and sweeping maneuvers, (position reversals so that I end up on top of my opponent.) But in the past few years, I’ve fallen in love with the wrestling portion of grappling. Now my focus is on taking people to the ground using traditional wrestling tactics and keeping them pinned to the mat.
I recently bought roll-out grappling mats and twice a week, in my garage, I train my 5- and 8-year-old in wrestling. I love how quickly they learn and retain knowledge and I can already see their mind and bodies growing stronger and adapting to the sport.
I’ve always loved combat sports. I love the honesty of the training. People can act or look a certain way, but in the end, it doesn’t matter. It’s all about the quality of the training that you put in. If you’ve taken any shortcuts or claimed to be any more than what you are, you will be exposed through the training. But if you humble yourself, show up, and train consistently, you can’t help but become what the sport represents. You can’t help but grow strong, balanced, and resilient.
It’s my love of combat sports that was a big inspiration for my most recent Kellen HalfCaste book, but there’s far more to the story than just wrestling, and where this series is going to take you, you’ll have to read to believe.
Now I’m going to continue to write. You continue to read 🙂
Keep your wits about you and good luck.
