Greetings from the treacherous frozen north.
A friend of mine recently challenged me on my most recent Kellen HalfCaste book. They asked if I had larger plans for Misha, the female love interest in the story, in future books. They said that right now her character could be seen as playing a too stereotypically, traditional, female role. They actually called her arm candy, ouch.
I immediately felt my guard go up. I’m used to this feeling and know to ignore it. I’ve worked in a creative field for a long time and have had my efforts critiqued regularly. I know that when I defend or make excuses for my work, I come across as insecure and stubborn, so I shut my mouth and listened to the constructive criticism.
My friend pointed out a scene that they thought was potentially problematic. They told me that when writing females in my books, think about my daughter and the effects that my unconscious bias might play on her developing mind.
I became immediately overwhelmed. Again, a feeling I’m familiar with, especially as an author. I’ve plotted out my Kellen HalfCaste series over seven books. I asked myself, did Misha have a strong enough role in the following books? If not, how much would changing her role affect the arc of the rest of the stories? Would I have to replot the whole series? Would I have to rewrite the first book? Do readers think I’m chauvinistic? Have I been lazy in my writing?
Not for the first time, I considered quitting writing altogether. Maybe it’s just too much effort for me. Then I remembered something from a book I recently read. It’s an idea that has consistently carried me through many difficult times as of late. The idea is, there is your ego, and then there is the amazing machine that is your mind and body. The idea is that the ego is flawed, or at least that’s how I understood it, but the machine is a marvel of creation that is capable of almost anything.
I thought about who or what was being overwhelmed. I was afraid of what I had to do, or maybe of what I couldn’t do, and I was afraid of what people do or would think of me. I was afraid it would take too long or be too much work to strengthen Misha’s role in my series or that I would fail in that attempt.
When I thought about the ego vs the machine idea, It sounded to me like I was thinking with my ego. Then I thought, what if I didn’t worry about failure or what people thought of me? What if I removed my ego and trusted the machine. What if I let the machine look at the story arcs and Misha’s role in them, not worrying about success or failure. I immediately became calm and energized by the new perspective.
There’s something about abandoning the ego and letting the machine tackle whatever you endeavor to do. It feels right, pure, and without baggage. If you succeed, you know it was the machine that prevailed. Your success was not getting in its way. If you fail, you know that you did your best and did not let your ego scare you away from that attempt. They say people regret most what they didn’t try, not what they did.
I still don’t have the answer to my Misha arc question. Maybe there’s nothing wrong with her arc. Maybe I just have to be delicate with how it is portrayed. Maybe not. Whatever the machine comes up with, I’m confident it will be better than what I currently have.
If you have any thoughts on the topic, I’m all ears and promise not to be defensive 🙂
Now I’m going to start surgery on my Kellen HalfCaste series arcs. You continue to read 🙂
Keep your wits about you and good luck.
